Articles Posted in Divorce

When does it make sense to hire your own expert and when does it make sense to use a joint expert with your spouse? Using a joint expert saves money, obviously, but is the saving worth the lack of control and flexibility? It depends. The more sophisticated the issue related to the asset the more important it is to have your own expert. For example, under our law, a premarital asset is exempt from equitable distribution unless it appreciated by an active effort of a spouse during the course of the marriage. So if you started pexels-maitree-rimthong-1602726-300x200a business before the marriage the question is what part of any appreciation of the asset is related to market forces and what percentage is related to your efforts. This is a complex issue with many nuances if you have a joint expert they may not feel that all such nuances should be investigated without an agreement. You will not have the same freedom to speak to the expert and your lawyer will certainly be limited in his/her ability to instruct the expert and to discuss concepts. Market forces and the time value of money may play a role in the increased value of your business and the savings if you do not have to share a portion of your businesses’ appreciated value can far exceed the cost of an independent expert.

Inherited assets are also exempt from distribution however once again active appreciation in that asset is distributable. You may have inherited an office building during your marriage. The value of that building when inherited is exempt however if it has appreciated in value during your marriage you will need to prove that the appreciation is not due to your effort but due to market forces. Having your own expert to navigate the appreciation and to explain how the property appreciated could have a critical impact on how much you will need to pay your spouse. In February I will be giving a seminar for the New Jersey Institute of Continuing Legal Education dealing with valuation issues including identifying how to distinguish active from passive appreciation. Joining me will be a Real Estate Appraiser, a Forensic Accountant, and an Appellant Division Judge. This is a complex issue in matrimonial litigation and the outcome can have a tremendous impact on the outcome of your case. Money is a commodity and we use it to value other commodities such as Real Estate and Business Ventures. Money can change in value because of inflation or depression or simply over time. World opinion may also have an impact on the relative value of a dollar. If you use the dollar to value assets without further insight into the factors that affect the value of the dollar you could be economically harmed. If you are looking for a real appreciation you need to stabilize the dollar in the year of valuation relating it to the value of the dollar in the year of acquisition.

Not all appreciation is active distributable appreciation. World or local economic changes may affect value wholly unrelated to owner effort. For example, real estate may appreciate because of zoning changes unrelated to any owner effort or because of market factors that might inflate value; a perfect example is the appreciation in the value of residential real estate in New Jersey caused by the exodus of high-income people from New York City as a reaction to Covid and taxes. This spike in value is clearly due to market reaction to the demand for none urban housing.

pexels-tairon-fernandez-450301-300x179To say that 2020 was a challenging year would be an understatement. While it started off with a sense of optimism and relative economic prosperity, the coronavirus, racial unrest, and political rancor gave this world, and this country, in particular, a set of punches to the gut. And while it may have always been under the surface, the events of this year brought into the open an unprecedented level of anger. The devastating impact of the coronavirus upon the economy, i.e. loss of jobs, reduction in incomes, shuddering of businesses, etc. resulted in feelings of anger towards the economic system. The George Floyd tragedy led to calls for racial and social justice which unfortunately turned violent fueled by anger over the police and views that our country as a whole was systemically racist. Add to all of that the 2020 election – politically charged, to say the least. Feelings of anger if not outright hatred dominated the campaign. Whether justified or not, anger was the emotional thread that seemed to have run throughout the year 2020. While anger, as an emotion, may have its place in the human psyche, when that anger becomes one’s primary feeling, it ends up overwhelming and clouding everything else. Reason and rationality. Common sense. Communication and dialogue. They all end up getting lost. That was clearly on display throughout 2020.

As the calendar changes from 2020 to 2021, there are a great many things that we can wish for. Back in the good old days, we might wish for things like a better job, finally getting that bigger house or a fancier car, losing weight or getting in shape, traveling more, or crossing things off your bucket list. However, most people’s wish lists are probably dramatically different this year. Obviously, the top on just about everyone’s list is that there be an end to this coronavirus pandemic and a return to some level of normalcy. This hope is fueled by the rollout of the coronavirus vaccine which our scientific and pharmaceutical community developed in “warp-speed”. Obviously, the end of the coronavirus pandemic is at the top of my wish list as well. However, right below that is another wish for 2021 – the creation of an anger vaccine. I know I am a dreamer but think how much nicer the world would be if the level of anger could somehow be controlled, reduced, or tempered. I know this would be the case when it comes to the handling of divorce matters.

In the almost four decades I have been handling divorce matters, some level of anger permeates many of them. Indeed, some feelings of anger are fully understandable. Your relationship with someone you loved and thought you would spend the rest of your life with has fallen apart. Perhaps that person has been abusive. Perhaps that person has betrayed you. Perhaps that person has somehow changed and it is no longer the person that you had fallen in love with. Maybe you are the one who has changed and want to find a way out of that relationship. You would not be human if you did not feel hurt, guilt, a sense of loss, maybe even a little anger. However, it is when parties to a divorce allow their feelings of anger toward the other person to totally dominate everything else that it becomes a major problem. The level of anger can range from mere loathing to out-and-out hatred. Those feelings of anger can be there the first time I meet a client or they may gradually boil over onto the surface as the strain of the marital litigation takes its toll. How is this manifested? They want to “bury” the other person. They want to “rake them over the coals”. They want them to “pay” for all the suffering and pain that they have caused. They want you as their lawyer to make that happen. They want to get all the money. They want to give no money. They want him or her to have nothing to do with “my” children. They want to win. They want the other person to lose. While sometimes these feelings are made by someone who is simply evil, most of the time it is a product of anger.

President-Elect Biden has stated that he would undo President Trump’s tax reforms if he is elected. From an individual’s viewpoint, those reforms included placing limits on mortgage deductions as well as state and local taxes such as real estate taxes. The 2017 tax cuts nearly double the standard deduction and eliminated the personal and dependent deduction but allowed the child tax credit to remain. The act is scheduled to expire in 2025 but there is little doubt the in a Biden presidency there will be some tinkering with taxes. Certainly, there will be an increase in personal taxes for the “wealthy” which the Democrats seem to define as those earning over four hundred thousand dollars ( $400,000) a year. Coupled with a rise in taxes for upper-income individuals is a concern of what happens to alimony in the Biden Presidency. The 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act eliminated the deductibility of alimony for new awards dated after January 1, 2019. Subsequent to January 1 new alimony awards are no longer deductible by the payor or taxable to the payee. Current federal tax rates for single and married filers (married filing jointly) are as follows :

Tax Rate Taxable income single Taxable income joint return

10% Up to $9,875 Up to $19 ,750

Dear Santa:pexels-cottonbro-6140236-200x300

I know I wrote to you in October asking you for just a few things for Christmas. I know you are busy and that kids all over the world need you more than ever. I was looking forward to Christmas when Uncle Harry always come dress like you and my sister plays carols on the piano. I just want to let you know that I would like to change my Christmas list. It’s not that I do not like Transformers or Batman. I love them! It’s just that things have changed around here. Mom and Dad’s fighting has gotten a lot worse. I know they think they are keeping it from me but I hear them fighting and I see the way they look at each other. I heard Dad say he wants a Divorce and mom said she did too. I know what Divorce is My friend Tom’s parents got divorced last year. Tom did not see his Dad for a long time until he was asked a lot of questions by some Doctors. He was scared. I don’t mind if Mom and Dad divorce. If they Divorce like my friend June. Her parents divorced but did not fight over her and were nice to each other. June sees her mom and dad all the time and they even go to her soccer games. She says nothing is that different she sees her mom and dad and she likes that there is no more fighting in the house. So here is what I would like. I want mom and Dad to stop fighting. I want them to be happy. I do not want them to fight over me and I want to see both of them Dad was sick this year and Dad said mom was the best nurse and told me what a great mother I had. Mom said that Dad was a hard worker and I should appreciate all the things he did to make our family better. Could you please remind them about that? I know that usually, you give kids like me toys and that you have a magical workshop. It’s

really the magic I am looking for this year. So what I really want for Christmas is for my mom and dad to calm down. When I get upset my Dad always says calm down buddy and my mom gives me a hug. That really works. Maybe you could give my mom a magic hug and tell my dad to calm down. I figure they would listen to you. I told my sister who is really big that I was going to write to you. She said it was a great idea and she would get it to you or your elves. She said she would like mom and dad to calm down too. I see her cry sometimes so I know she is sad. We are usually happy this time of year even mom and dad. We didn’t decorate the tree together we did it with mom and dad sat in the room by himself. I could see mom was being brave like she tells me to be when I get a shot. Every year we drive around the neighborhood looking for tacky lights this year mom had a headache and didn’t go. It wasn’t as much fun cause mom laughs through her nose when things get funny. I know things will be different now. But it could be nice different that would be best. And if you think I should have the transformers and batman too that would be great. I have been very good.

You know the feeling. Like clockwork a favorite relative sends you a birthday card year after year, often days if not weeks before your actual birthday. Then one year your birthday comes and goes and no card was received from that relative. You are filled with feelings of surprise and disappointment. What happened? Did the relative forget? Is the relative upset with me? For whatever the reason, you feel a sense of loss. For those of you who are regular readers of my blog posts, you know that in the Fall of each year, like clockwork, I write a series of posts summarizing recently promulgated amendments to the New Jersey Court Rules that would directly or indirectly impact Family Court matters. Like the expected birthday card that was not received, I am sure you are surprised and disappointed that I have yet to do so. However, like the belated birthday card that arrives weeks later, this blog post is just what you are waiting for. Candidly, however, it is more like getting a card without the expected check inside. Why? Whether due to the COVID pandemic or other reasons, there were an unusually small number of changes or amendments made to the Court Rules for this year, none relating to the Part V Family Part Rules, and few even indirectly impacting Family Court practice. However, there was one new Rule which was adopted, which although procedural in nature, could directly impact how Family Court matters are handled, particularly those unresolved matters for which a trial may be necessary. What you may ask? We finally have a Rule dealing with in limine motions.

I know. I know. You are asking what in the world is an in limine motion, and why does it deserve its own Rule? Over the years, in limine motions have come to resemble the “Wild Wild West” of motion practice. Generally speaking such in limine motions were made on the eve of and/or at the outset of a trial. Often they sought to address various evidence-related issues, such as whether certain evidence should be allowed and/or excluded from consideration during the trial. However, motions labeled as “in limine” were also being filed for the purpose of having a court make a determination on certain substantive matters such as whether a certain claim or issue would be granted or excluded from a case. For example in the Family Court context, a party may make a motion in limine as to whether or not a certain asset should be deemed exempt from equitable distribution in the hopes of “limiting” the issues to be addressed at trial. Often such in limine motions were made within days of, if not on the day of trial itself, leaving the opposing party with nominal opportunity to prepare and respond to same. How such motions were handled were largely left to the discretion of the trial court. While less so in the Family Court context, such in limine motions were being filed, the disposition of which could actually result in the dismissal of a complaint or claim, or of a defense thereto. Ultimately, several court decisions were rendered making clear that one should not be able to disguise what was in effect a “summary judgment” motion as a motion in limine, and that such motions must utilize the timing and notice requirements for summary judgment motions under R.4:46. Unfortunately, notwithstanding these admonitions against the misuse of the in limine motion practice, these abuses continued.

In the case of Seoung Ouk Cho v. Trinitas Regional Medical Center, 443 NJ Super 461 (App. Div. 2015); cert. denied, 224 NJ 529 (2016) the Appellate Division appeared to reach a breaking point when it came to this use and abuse of in limine motion practice and the lack of any rules or guidelines respecting same. In this medical malpractice case, the defendant doctor made a motion “in limine” on the day before jury selection was to begin to dismiss the claims against him. Although initially questioning whether this was a proper “in limine” motion, the trial court ultimately granted that motion. The Appellate Division reversed. In so doing it noted:

I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately about how the Divorce process works. This blog is intended to outline the procedural steps usually taken in a Divorce Litigation. It is not tied to any particular complexity and as it is generic in nature and since litigation is not always one size fits all it is neither exhaustive nor is it intended to cover all the nuances in more complicated litigation.Person in White Long Sleeve Shirt and Black Pants

1) A litigation usually starts with a letter to the opposing spouse advising them that  A Complaint for Divorce is about to be filed and they should retain a lawyer and have them contact the writer. The hope is that the lawyers will be able to discuss The matter early on and save the litigants time and money.

2) A Complaint for Divorce is filed and either served on the opposing spouse or  More frequently acknowledged by the spouse’s lawyer.

pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4308054-300x200People are always asking me if they should divorce. My stock answer is that the decision to divorce is personal and that I am not qualified to make that decision for the client or even make a recommendation. Everybody has a different view of what a good marriage should look at and it is not mine to Judge. I do when the reasons for divorce seem like an argument that will blow over or the parties are older ask the client to think about options and give it a week to let things settle down and the realities of Divorce hit home. I am aware that not all marriages are built to last and that happiness like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Having said that I do have some views of my own about when a Divorce makes sense and when it does not. I am not a mental health professional. I am a lawyer who has practiced in this field for most of my career after a near-death experience ( from boredom) as a tax lawyer.

Often the decision to Divorce has been made by your spouse and you really have no option but if the choice is yours here are some things to think about. If you are in a destructive relationship and your spouse is physically or mentally abusing you should get out. Abusive people do not change. It is not your fault. If your spouse cheats on you and you will only reconcile if they don’t stop cheating now and forever and you can not live with a spouse who keeps cheating, get a divorce. My experience shows that once a cheater always a cheater.

If your marriage leaves you so unhappy that each day is drudgery or you find yourself wishing you were dead so the marriage can be over get the divorce. There is life on the other side.

I was recently asked by a high net worth client how they could save legal fees during their proceeding. I understood his concern as the matter is complicated and his wife had very little knowledge of family finances. Accordingly. it would be up to her lawyer to verify assets and advise the client. Half the cost of a divorce is the trial if the matter is not settled. One of the best ways to save money in a divorce proceeding is to avoid the trial and make a reasonable settlement. The other half of the cost of a divorce is pretrial preparation. Most of the pretrial action in a divorce deals with issues of child custody, interim support, and discovery. In this case, since the wife knew nothing about finances until discovery was exchanged, there could be no settlement. There were kids involved and my client was an active parent who wanted to stay involved. His wife opposed this may be out of anger or fear or desire to control the one thing that she did control during the marriage. My client liked bullet points and so I e-mailed him the following bullet points which have been sanitized to protect confidentiality:pexels-karolina-grabowska-4386373-1024x683

1) Put together a series of binders with all your bank and brokerage records over the last five years.

2) Do the same for the last five years of credit card statements.

As I sit here this morning working from home because I have a sick 23-month-old that cannot attend daycare, I find myself reflecting a lot about this experience that is being a working mom. It is most definitely nothing like what I could have possibly imagined two years ago when my husband and I were patiently awaiting the arrival of our first child. But as the cliché goes, right on his due date he made his appearance (he gets his punctuality from his father) and everything changed.

pexels-august-de-richelieu-4262414-200x300I knew being a working mom would be hard, but I also imagined having it mostly together – continue my career, breastfeed exclusively until my child turned one, take him to activities like My Gym, baby music classes and Mommy & Me swim to get him engaged early, read him a different story every day, make healthy meals and exercise, and have everything together for the next day before going to bed each night. Arrogant, I know, but hadn’t my mom and my grandmothers done it? Hadn’t they taken care of all the childcare stuff while still working because that is what we are supposed to do? And everywhere I looked it seemed there were working moms who had it all together. I wanted to handle it the way I thought they were handling this working mom thing. If you are a working mom or just a woman in general, you probably know what I am talking about. Women tend to imagine the women around them are doing everything right, while we are barely keeping it together. We tend to romanticize the women in our lives that we have looked up to and idealized.

When I think about it now, I usually find myself smiling, sometimes even laughing at these crazy ideas I had. And sometimes, I am still hard on myself and think that if I tried a little harder I could have it more together the way I thought I would. My days mostly fall somewhere on the scale of organized chaos to outright chaos. I have learned that most of the things I thought would be easy are actually really hard. I have learned that many of the women that seemed to have it all together are going through the same experience as me. So too I have come to realize that we almost never do it alone. Despite what I remembered, my mom and my grandmothers did not do it alone (it was, after all, my father who drove me to the skating rink at 6:00 in the morning and built pinewood derby cars with my brothers). I can still very vividly recall a female Judge telling me not long after I had my son, to make sure I let my husband help – you will succeed, he will succeed, and your children will succeed if you work together. Her point – parenting is a team sport. This is true no matter the status of your relationship. Parenting is a team sport whether you are married, divorced, living together or separated.

Although Covid has dramatically affected how the Courts operate day to day divorce cases are still moving forward efficiently. Most matters are proceeding with e-filing of pleadings and motions while appearances are being hosted on Zoom as well as several other internet platforms.

The court buildings are also open to attorneys and litigants specifically involved in a matter on a limited basis. Through a combination of internet and limited physical appearance, matters are

moving through the courts efficiently.